100 word challenge

I wish I had known you when my husband died. Because when I hear your face you make me all fuzzy and warm inside. When he passed I had nothing. But with you it seems like I am in a whole different world. You make me feel the way that my husband did. Like I could talk to you all day and share each other’s stories. Before my life wasn’t worth living anymore. I just wish I had known you five years ago because that’s when he passed. Until this day, until I met you, I was nothing.

2 thoughts on “100 word challenge

  1. Hi Mali,
    We loved your story, it had a lot of emotion and feeling to it, e.g. when her husband died, you could tell she felt like nothing. The idea was interesting e.g. To change it into an affectionate story about the lady and her husband dying. You used descriptive vocabulary, such as fuzzy, warm, nothing etc. Something that you could think about changing or adding in is more detailed descriptive words like dark, dull, secretive, enjoyment etc. Try re reading it and checking for any punctuation mistakes but otherwise, Great job!

    From Alexis and Mia 🙂

  2. Dear Mali,
    Well done I really enjoyed reading your story! I loved your idea and it is quite similar to mine because it is about someone, but mine is about a baby and yours is about some one passing away. I also loved the use of power of 3 and your word choice like fuzzy is a great describing word. Your sentence fluency was really lovely and your use of conventions definitely helped it. Your voice in your story sounded like someone older than you but I really like the twist. And your organization definitely showed characters development and sentence fluency! Well Done
    From Ruby
    P.S. See you at school 🙂

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